Trino. Each time i come back i feel less and less part of this place. Tonight everything is going in slow motion in my head. I wish it was just one of those days that me and S. call " el dia que no ha esistido"; this morning at 7am i was sitting in Plaza de la Virgen, just minutes after seeing an angel walking away from me, after having closed my eyes while wispering "good bye", just minutes before getting in a cab and watching Valencia sleep.
When i woke up everything still looked the same as 3 days ago, the passport and the flight ticket were still on my bed table and my luggage was still empty, the bottle of Martini still there, in the corner where we left it on thursday nite, that smell still wrapped around me, and the confusion still piling up in my head.It wasnt a dream.
I couldnt say a word, while i was throwing my stuff into my bag, i could hear S. walking up and down the corridor, if it wasnt for the music that was playing so loud on the background, i could have heard her thoughts spinning in her head as well, i could have felt those strong feelings we shared every single day, but i wasnt able to handle it. So i decided to switch off and only focus on packing.
Being here, in the place i should call home is always weird, but tonight somehow i feel is even harder to explain.
I wish i could close my eyes and find that angel beside me,
going to bed and hear S. laying a blanket over me,
i wish i could wake up in the morning and understand the reason why i feel this way,
why it all seems so unreal.
Maybe all i need is a cold San Miguel (and a bit of ceviche), maybe i only need to see the end of this long day, maybe i should just keep all these emotions in my hand and live them until they fade away, with no regrets. Maybe i should just be happy for what i have achieved in all those 7 months. Or maybe simply go to bed.
Adeu Valencia.
4 comments:
hey, thanks a lot!!
Trino is in Northern Italy, a little hole between hills and fog.
and i ve left Valencia to follow my istints..!wish me luck!
Mi hai fatto venire il magone. Uno strano modo di sentirmi che mi capita solo con te. Si ferma il tempo e continua tutto a girare, ma lo fa in un modo che a me, in quei momenti, più non interessa. Non c'è niente di più bello di quello che i tuoi occhi ti vogliono far vedere. E non c'è nient'altro che vorrei oltre a questo. Anche se fa soffrire.
Se imparassi il modo piu' giusto di dire "addio" alla gente che lascio, per mesi o per anni, non potrei sentire tutto questo groviglio di forti emozioni che sto vivendo in silenzio, e forse non sarei nemmeno capace a vedere cosa lascio dietro.sapere che tu sai tutto questo solo guardandomi negli occhi mi fa dimenticare il resto e mi lascia continuare a correre verso le mie mete senza nessun timore.
but thanks god that u've been living in valencia, otherwise we couldn't have met each other! anyway, i'm sure our destinies will meet again ;) with lauchland and laurent, sure.
a hug kiss to trino.
pd: sonja is here in bcn and yesterday night we went out together, and we talked a lot about u :)) we miss u. but i miss u more, u know.
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