back to Buon Appetito on my 25th Birthday..is it a joke?

nothing wrong with going back to work on the day of your birthday, but smelling of garlic, coffee and tomato after 8 hours of rushing up and down tables full of people and Xmas shopping, swallowing a cold latte on your break with few potatoe wedges to keep you happy, and not even having a mobile phone with you via whom you could at least receive your mum's greetings, its not the best way to spend your 25th birthday, no way!
..i think ill convince E. to go for mussels and mashed potatoes tonite, to cheer me up.

then drinks are on me, people, no problems!

3 bags, 116 songs, 1 polaroid pic and no mobile phone!

..two weeks in Italy, on holiday i could say, and not a single minute to fill the blog with some messed up emotions and melanconic pieces of memories that stayed with me until the very last day..
Time passed, always too fucking quick, and i was more busy worring about having a good time than analyzing it.
This time it was all so unreal; i didnt expect any of all the wonderful vibrations that everybody just injected me. But i overindulged on them with no shame!!!
I let them spoling me, i let myself showing them how good they made me feel and i let everything flow..and it worked!
Lately, in fact, i find myself getting through situations and events that few years ago i would have probably found hard to let go, or i would have held them close for the fear of never see them again. I dont know if i can say "i have learnt the lesson" or " i am getting there" but i can surely say "well done!"to myself, for being able to live those circumstances the way i ve always wanted to, and to give them the importance they deserve, no more no less.
it could be that this is part of who i have become, leaving trails behind, adbandoning fears and joys, and go everytime further and further..
i m not sad for leaving a place i love, people i adore, and possible sources of happiness..i m not even upset for not having done something, im not holding on to that memory, im not beating myself up for something that has passed and has left nothing in my hands..
. I feel like i m always going ahead, without looking back, i keep walking without stepping backwards, i see what s here, and not what it was or what it will be.

Galway is magic, as always!
It has welcomed me with a fabulous fish and chips, the Sun paper, and simple smiley faces.

3 days of pure daze

Trino. Each time i come back i feel less and less part of this place. Tonight everything is going in slow motion in my head. I wish it was just one of those days that me and S. call " el dia que no ha esistido"; this morning at 7am i was sitting in Plaza de la Virgen, just minutes after seeing an angel walking away from me, after having closed my eyes while wispering "good bye", just minutes before getting in a cab and watching Valencia sleep.
When i woke up everything still looked the same as 3 days ago, the passport and the flight ticket were still on my bed table and my luggage was still empty, the bottle of Martini still there, in the corner where we left it on thursday nite, that smell still wrapped around me, and the confusion still piling up in my head.It wasnt a dream.
I couldnt say a word, while i was throwing my stuff into my bag, i could hear S. walking up and down the corridor, if it wasnt for the music that was playing so loud on the background, i could have heard her thoughts spinning in her head as well, i could have felt those strong feelings we shared every single day, but i wasnt able to handle it. So i decided to switch off and only focus on packing.

Being here, in the place i should call home is always weird, but tonight somehow i feel is even harder to explain.
I wish i could close my eyes and find that angel beside me,
going to bed and hear S. laying a blanket over me,
i wish i could wake up in the morning and understand the reason why i feel this way,
why it all seems so unreal.
Maybe all i need is a cold San Miguel (and a bit of ceviche), maybe i only need to see the end of this long day, maybe i should just keep all these emotions in my hand and live them until they fade away, with no regrets. Maybe i should just be happy for what i have achieved in all those 7 months. Or maybe simply go to bed.

Adeu Valencia.

tapas y SanMiguel

All my guests are gone, my Valencian days are almost over and i can tell you i can t wait to be in Trino, sipping my Martini Bianco with friends, eating my mama's veggie lasagne, swapping hot new entries in our music charts with the brov, driving around the hills and truly enjoy the place i always go back to but to which i never belong at all.
Tapas y San Miguel are 2 of the thing i ll miss of Spain..nothing else..well..maybe i will miss the "guiris guapos" arriving at the hostel so "lost looking", and yeah also the afternoons spent looking for a open shop during "la siesta", and ok, ill miss all the people i ve met here, but that one day i will be meet again, somewhere..

reality moment: i m supposed to have 2 dates today, but still dont know which of the 2 i can easily standing up.(!).

too many fags, not enough words..

i can t imagine myself being grown up without going through that phase. we were only looking for something that brought us away from the reality someone else had built, we could only dream what we would then live on our skin.i was looking for an answer, someone who could see what i was running from, he needed a place to be himself and where he could shout it out loud, she was only after a life that would cover her with real emotions, and all of them believed they were going to find their happiness.oh, were they wrong!
they discovered a line that keeps together a circle, the distance that sometimes keeps them closer, the silence they are so good to hold tight and then break it at the first piercing scream.

the more i live the less i figure out how certain persons keep giving me so much without disappearing.

"hangover Friday"

..I woke up this morning feeling absolutely miserable.
I refuse to believe that going out, drinking with no shame and splashing out the cash on something that makes you forget how you got there in the first place, is the only alternative i m left with(the other choice is falling asleep on the couch while watching "Randù" the tarot reader telling a poor woman to dump her drunken husband!)..
But it has always been like this, no point starting now to find something wrong with all that..
I had a really good time..i remember dancing around and making waves with the arms from side to side (looking like a right fool), i remember staring at a huge fish tank where baby sharks were swimming "happily" (looking more drunk than i actually was), i remember talking to a guy at the bar, apparently the boss of the place and finding his phone number in my pocket this morning (looks like im quite popular lately!), i remember sitting on the back seat and thinking of how i d miss this place once i will be gone, i remember feeling a strange vibe, right in the middle of my stomach and i remember enjoying it with all my heart while it lasted.

Dream moment: i wish i could for once have the balls to try the Irish cure for hangover and test if it actually works.
Reality moment: J., creo que tenemos que cambiar nuestros planes de boda en Australia y irnos a Argentina..!

"sadness is only a dark shadow over your eyes"

..im glad i told you
so that i can just blame myself now.

nobody else is responsable for this silly truth.
i keep banging the door of my pride
and i cant stop laughing
i enjoy what you find pathetic,
i turn away from what turns you on.

stop finding me good new reasons
i learnt how to avoid them and to believe
in what i always knew

my body freezes, switches off.
i need no allies when theres no war.

happyness is so easy to achieve!

the hostel is so empty today!
i had one of those happyness flushes this morning, those that last just a couple of little seconds, that shower you with weird feelings.. it used to happen in Galway when i was living with E. I used to call it, "shiver of happiness", and it occurs when you experience a really close contact with your second of serenity. That s how i describe my "felicità".
Well, in exactly 2 months im gone.texted C. earlier, needed to tell him how i felt, needed him to know i will be there for him and that i am delighted im doing this with him.

ranting moment: my tooth is killing me.i got to a stage where i cant even have soup, unless is room temperature, and it hasnt got any big chunks of veggies.aahhhh!i m just too scared of the dentist!
reality moment: the music we downloaded in this computer at reception keeps repeating itself for the last 4 days. and this should be a ranting moment too if it wasnt that "Scissor sisters" reminds me of a very good moment of my life (or a very embarassing one, depends on the points of view)(!) and that the other 15 other songs are flamenco style and remind me im in Spain.not that bad after all!

someone is listening..

is it just me or there someone out there that actually knows what im on about??
well, it looks that way anyways. and it makes me feel a lot better.
this Monday has passed and Valencia is wet, dark and way too exciting!!(sarcasm)
Fat Mike must be right, Mondays are great fun compared to all the 6 days left on the week..nobody gives them the right importance, they are underestimated ¡de verdad!

you are skinned from the wild weekend just gone, you are sick from the wild weekend just gone, you are disappointed from the wild weekend just gone and you are despressed because it hasnt been wild at all. but really, Mondays are there just for that. To make up for it. To prove the weekend that you are going to have a good time on a Monday nite, and surprise them all.

Ranting moment:"whoever rented "Habana blues" at my same VideoShop, please bring it back!! it has been 2 weeks now i ve been waiting to see it and im getting a bit nevrotic"

Reality moment: in a smelly internet cafe, heading to Mercadona for my 0.67c loaf of bread for toasts in the morning , my head is buzzing and my cheeks burning..need fresh air!

Dream moment: wish i was in N.Y. right now! Watching H. swimming , laughing (at H), a-chatting over a peruan dinner. (hey, a dream moment is called like that for a reason)

dull Sundays usually follow boring Saturdays

i dont really know what the story is, but there s always been something about weekend days that really pisses me off!!
..living in Valencia doesnt help the dilemma either, as shops and bar stay closed up until the evening.
I m trying not to complain too much, few more weeks and i ll be officially entering my sabbatic year of travels.
I actually cannot see myself at London aiport checking in for an 12 hours plane ride, weighting my backpack on the scale, showing my virginal passport and my 12-stops ticket and still pretending i am OK.i wont be! I will be hilariously nevrotic and even C. wont be able to calm me down..well maybe he ll manage to make me swallow a couple of the usual "dark juice" pints, to give me the impression everything is under control.

4cm taller..

the world now looks prettier than ever, now that i stand on 4cm of rubber before touching the ground.
today is one of those non-sense Saturdays when nobody knows what to do or where to go to spend the evening, nor people around seem to care.
i d be quite pleased to spend the night in my cold apartament (apparentely nobody in Valencia knows the meaning of "heating system", nobody has got one!), munching crisps and watching a subtitled movie, falling asleep on the couch and being waken up by some loud scene purposely invented for that.

Saturdays suck!

finally my Creepers!

Today i ve made up my mind and i am going to buy them.
So what if they cost 95€?? How many times i spent the same amount on drinks and scabby dinners and regretted every single "centimos".fuck it! so weird i make so much fuss about it and then i go and spend 10.50 € on organic tofu and miso that skinks like hell and last only one little minute.
well, today i m going to do what i ve been waiting for so long..since the day i saw these shoes in Camden Market and couldnt buy them cuz i didnt even have enough money to buy a flipping bus ticket and had to walk home from work.
for those days' sake im going to buy a pair of Brothel`s Creepers. and Fair Play to me!

i open this Blog just to mark the day.

a-sex, drums and rock ´n roll, everyone!